A Mexican black kingsnake recently acquired by local English teacher Roanne Bosch was deported upon arrival, sources confirmed on Thursday.
“It’s really too bad,” Bosch lamented to a No-Point correspondent. “I was going to name him Longfellow and use him as a segue for a class discussion on the archetypal serpent of Eden.”
Longfellow is the latest in an increasing number of immigrants who have fallen victim to President Donald Trump’s vigorous expansion of deportation raids. He was eligible for citizenship under the SHEDD Act (Snake Hospitality, Education, Domestication, and Development) of the Obama era, but he, like many other SHEDDers, now finds his future to be uncertain after the recent presidential election.
This event follows a surge of disturbing anti-snake sentiments, including graffiti in the bathroom which read, “NO ROOM FOR NO-LEGS” and “SLITHER BACK TO YOUR JUNGLE, SCALY BOY.”


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